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Blue Devil Puts On Tour Goggles

CONCORD, CA – Sources inside the Blue Devils Drum and Bugle Corps say Samantha Geary, 19, has reportedly put on her 2017 Drum Corps International Tour Goggles for the first time this season.

Insiders report the veteran trumpet player has begun showing interest in baritone player Brandon Ackers, who she never would have given a second look just two weeks ago. According to Geary, Ackers, a 4 on a good day, has reportedly started looking like a high 7 since donning the optic bending spectacles.

“I am a woman. A red blooded American woman with needs,” said a stone faced Geary, unaware of the impending regret she would feel August 13th upon returning to the real world.

Ackers, who was a sad, pale lump of semi-overweight flesh merely days ago, has reportedly dropped 14 pounds since the start of the 2017 Drum Corps season. With the addition of a newly bronzed tan, Ackers is now viewed by many within the corps bubble as the perfect male specimen.

A call was not returned from Geary as she was reportedly making a series of life choices that will haunt her dreams for years to come.

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