Citing the “abysmal state of drum and bugle corps”, Gerald Harkins, a 53 year old grown ass man, admitted Thursday he has nothing to live for than obsess over a musical activity intended for people under half his age. The Royales veteran and mouth breather made his displeasure known in a press conference late Thursday evening.
“What the hell is this? Damn fruitcakes out there prancing around in leotards with B flat trumpets!” he shouted from his Hoveround. “We need to bring back G Bugles! None of this sissy rolling around in the grass to Billy ****nig Joel!”
Harkins, moderator of the Facebook group “I Don’t Support DCI” and douche nozzle, reportedly occupies his day creating insulting memes of 17 year olds with more talent than himself.
According to acquaintances, Harkins allegedly formed a veteran corps in an effort to relive his days of mediocrity. Witnesses say Renaissance Drum and Bugle Corps folded nearly 17 minutes into its first rehearsal when none of the octogenarians could remember how to play an F concert.