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Bluecoats Replace Hornline With 3-Way Yamaha Speakers

CANTON, OH – In an shocking announcement, the Bluecoats Drum and Bugle Corps stated in a press release Wednesday morning their decision to replace the entire brass line with 3-Way Yamaha speakers for the 2017 DCI season. The tech-fueled corps is said to have purchased upwards of 70 Yamaha DSR215 powered speakers to provide ample volume for 12 minutes of loops and soundscapes.

“We’re always looking to push the envelope,” said Bluecoats audio engineer Brad Jennings. “What better way to innovate drum and bugle corps than to do away with the drum and bugle corps altogether?”

Returning brass players were told of the decision upon arriving to Bluecoats audition camp last Friday evening.

“They said they wouldn’t need me on mellophone this year. They did ask me to march a speaker from dot to dot, so that’s cool I guess,” said disappointed 6 year vet Tony Nevins.

Sources close to the corps say the the decision was met with mixed reactions from members of the Bluecoats Alumni Association.

“I always knew this day would come.  I just didn’t think it would be here so soon,” said alumnus Jerry Thompson, 68, as he hurled his body from the nearest cliff.

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  1. John McTaggart

    Fake news?

    April Fool a month late?

    If this is serious, they should not be permitted to compete!

  2. Is this a Joke? Please say yes!!!!

    • Lol this is funny! And obviously satire. The last sentence says “as he hurled his body from the nearest cliff.” If that doesn’t make it obvious that it’s a joke idk what will! It’s seriously scary what people believe just because it’s in an article on the internet…

  3. The question is which corps will soon follow suit?

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