RALEIGH, NC – In what experts are regarding as a complete and total lack of self awareness, percussion staff of Firestorm Indoor Percussion congratulated themselves Sunday night after a truly terrible indoor season. Cracking open celebratory beers, the clueless group unanimously agreed there was absolutely nothing they would have done differently over the past 5 months.
“We really outdid ourselves this year,” said musical arranger Bobby Murphy, who didn’t finish writing the ensembles closer until March 28th.
Sources close to the ensemble say the season got off to a rocky start well before their auditions in mid-January. The staff, who squandered nearly every opportunity to make the ensemble better, reportedly high-fived each other following their disastrous exit from Percussion Independent A Prelims.
“It’s not about the destination. It’s about the journey,” said Ensemble Director and gross mismanager of funds Arthur Keeting. “Sure we’ve had our ups and downs. Sure we had a late start. Sure we blew the budget by mid-February. Sure we forgot to order uniforms until it was too late. Sure we were teaching drill the night before Championships. Sure we forgot to book the hotel in Dayton. That’s just how it is. It’s all part of the game.”
At press time, sources say the group was already planning the ensembles abysmal next season.